Currently Listening To: Archers of Loaf; Talking Heads, "Stop Making Sense;" the Buffy musical CD; the "Sid and Nancy" soundtrack.

Currently Reading: Aaron McGruder, "Because I Know You Don't Read The Newspaper;" The Onion's latest anthology ("Dispatches from the Tenth Circle of Hell" or something?).

Yep. Lotsa heavy reading going on 'round chez Nicole these days.

Current Bandwagon: The South Parked version of me!

Done before I got the bob haircut -- it actually suits me more now.


















The Extra-Special "Get a Freaking Life" Edition.

DC "party animal" sculpture.

Say hello to one of the many "Party Animals" decorating the streets of DC this summer. This guy's right by my office.

Yes, I did a piss-poor job with that "More Frequent Updates" thing. Sorry about that.

What's new? Well ... I finally got a badly-needed haircut. Yes, this is how boring things have been lately.

I've run headlong (ha ha) into the problem I always have with short hair. I get my hair all chopped off and I like it a lot for about a year. I convince myself that short's the way to go from now on. And then I get heartily sick of it overnight and I want long hair again. Tomorrow, if possible. But because I can't do that, I have to endure the grow-out season.

The last time I went through the grow-out season, I built up an impressive hat collection.

Last Thursday night I went to my favorite Dupont Circle salon and got a simple bob haircut that should make the growing-out process far less hideous. This is the place where I generally get the snooty club kids who do a good job even though they hate me and everything my hopelessly square thirtysomething yuppie suburbanite self represents. But the guy I had on Thursday was a sweetie. He was having a ball with my haircut. After he was finished cutting and drying it, he kept putting his hands in my hair, messing it up vigorously until it was standing up like Kramer's do on Seinfeld, smoothing it down one way, and then messing it up again, giggling all the while. It's nice to get people who really enjoy their work, even if I did have to pointedly glance at my watch to remind him that I did have to leave at some point to meet some friends.

He called me "beautiful lady." He got an extra dollar in his tip. Flattery gets you everywhere with me.

And now on to the "Get A Life" portion of the entry, assuming you weren't counting the above tale as part of that.

I Gotta Not Be Me: The internet is rife with opportunities for you to be someone you aren't. You can pretend to be a celebrity. You can pretend to be dating a celebrity. You can pretend to be a beautiful 19-year-old dying of cancer.

That said, pretending to be a celebrity stalker? That's definitely plumbing new depths of life-challengedness.

I checked into my long-abandoned and lonely forum this afternoon to find two long, incoherent rants from someone bearing the handle of a guy publicly accused of stalking Nicole Kidman. (I'm not posting the name here. I don't want the actual fruitcake Googling me for real some day.)

I must admit that I had high hopes when I saw the thread titled "Boycott Nicole!" It's been a long time since I got any dispatches from someone who wanted me to know just how much I suck.

Alas, it wasn't to be. Wrong Nicole. I'll give the guy credit for livening up a dull afternoon; I IMed Bill with a "Holy shit! Did you see this?!?" message. But then a few Google searches turned up enough news stories about the stalker that I stopped being entertained and started getting a little alarmed.

And then a quick IP check indicated that the poster was, in fact, a big faker. Phew. Another quick trip through Google turned up identical rants from this guy on other boards, where he used the handle "Corey Feldman." Damn, guy. If you're going to pretend to be a famous person at least pretend to be someone halfway cool. And write some new material while you're at it. That "scary lunatic" shtick loses some force when you're just using the cut'n'paste key to spam it everywhere.

He hung in there for a while, even inventing another handle to insult himself. Ultimately, the lack of attention must have starved him to death. But if you're desperately bored and need to look at a little trainwreck, knock yourself out. And hell ... if you just feel like posting to say hi, do that too. Like I said, it's pretty lonely over there. People were already taking that "Boycott Nicole!" exhortation seriously, I think.

The next entry.

Previously, in Insomniaville...

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